How Differences Can Affect One's Relationship

Sunday, October 07, 2018

Before a couple breaks up, in most casesif not allthere are difference(s) between them. A difference of goals, importance/ priorities, characters that have changed, or the way they see the relation between the two of them has changed. The more differences there are, the more is the likeliness for them to argue/ get annoyed. Which at the end.. results to a break-up that you might have/ have not expected in the beginning.





 


dress - Tomoko
 clutch - Mno.logie
earrings - Luulla.co
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Alright. Talking about differences. If an argument is always initiated by a difference, how different  similar should you be in order to sustain a relationship? Do more similarities between the two add the likeliness for a relationship to survive? An easy and simple answer: Yes.

Do the same goals make things go smoother? Yes.
Do the similar characteristics of both families make things simpler? Yes.
Do the same lifestyle make things go forward? Yes (Example: If you like to travel while your partner don't, at some point you will be frustrated and think of breaking up.
Do living in the same city give you both more assurance to live together in the end? Yeah.
Do the same ways of thinking prevent you two to argue? Yes.
Do the same religion make it easier? Of course.

But another question to ask next is..

Will there be two people with 90% similarity? No chance.

 So yes, maybe in the beginning of the relationship where things were all pink and bright, you will think you have so many things in common you can relate to together. However being in the relationship for longer will let you find the things that you think is too different, and then question if you can last with this person. (Though you know, a lot of time you've already known since the startusually something crucialbut with all the excitements, you don't really want to think too much and think 'We can figure it out later').

However, despite the differences between the two, doesn't mean they can't be happy. It really is each and everyone's decision to be willing to accept the differences for a long time; be always aware of the differences, and gotta talk about it. If you can meet in the middle/ compensate somehow that's better, if not, gotta live with it (but don't complain if you've committed to it), if you think the relationship is worth to be saved. Let's be honest, we've seen old couples with different backgrounds but they are fine.

You know, I even think, that having differences in the relationship can escalate the fun, e.g. my boyfriend is a professional golfer and i work in an office 9-5. It really is refreshing to have someone having a completely different type of work with all the different types of people. Or if you have a different character, say one talks too much while the other doesn't, at the end it completes each other. 

So at the end, similarities bring people together, but the differences can make the bond stronger, since there are things to be fought together about. Commitments and compensation is needed though!

A little bit more thought: I know some people who know there is a crucial problem since the start but tried to ignore it. At the end they have to part ways/ stay unmarried. Best thing is to acknowledge it and actually talk about it. But you know.. Who am I to say! At the end of the day its everyone's individual life, and it's up to them on how to be happy and feel full.

Note: Be careful when you're trying to make a big deal out of things that seem too different, while really, you're just trying to find excuses to get out of the relationship!

Till next time!
Jeslina x

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