Love Does Not Hurt. Expectation Does.

Saturday, April 30, 2016

Think about it.
Love does not hurt. It's the most wonderful thing, in fact.
The thing is, as one's love grows, one's expectation goes up, unconsciously.

// dress seed skirt zara shoes coppelia backpack kanken  
 location nara, japan
shots by marcel //

 I always get upset each time our Skype date got cancelled. Of course, only when it is already scheduled. I've grown my excitement to blurt out about my last 3 days to my boyfriend, I've made time/ cleared any other plans just so we'll have that necessary-two-hours-Skype-call-for-all-LDR-couples thing, especially when time difference doesn't allow us to communicate often. By the way, before this gets too far, I've made sure he is okay i'm writing this. And no, no bad intention. Or maybe. Maybe not. Jokes, Adrian! :)

Or to those long-distance couples, one side will be so disappointed when the other one cannot fulfill the promise to be in the same city in x months. His or her plans change, maybe? In this case, this is my boyfriend. Haha! No, was joking.

Okay. Another example. Let's say you're still deeply hurt from your previous relationship. Let's say, your ex cheated/ simply didn't love you anymore. And it hurt so much because you trusted him, you thought you knew he wouldn't do it. We all know if you expected him to be unfaithful, or saw something coming, the wound won't stay too long. It's all about expectation, people. You won't be disappointed if a not-so-close friend of yours talk behind your back. But you'll hardly forget it if the person stabbing you is your own very best friend, someone that you thought would never ever do it. (Even though I hope you forgave!)

Same thing goes to when you're about to travel somewhere. Don't get your expectation too high by all those no-tourist-showing-in-the-commercial-picture's. Each time I want to go somewhere, I usually try to not think too much about it, otherwise I'll get my hopes up, and when I get there, it won't be as good. Or a movie trailer that looks so good, I'll still keep saying to myself to be cool. This applies to anything else like a new job, new life when you're moving out somewhere.

Back to the main track. About love. And expectation.
So me and some girls were discussing this. And we agreed that yeah, your expectation that caused the heartbreak. I mean, I know that the expectation grows out of the love. And love is sweet.
But really, watch out. Get it balanced, maybe?
Though honestly, I don't know which side am I at:
a. Going all Meghan Trainor's I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you
(Actually I really don't get it. If I knew I was gonna lose you, I won't go all out loving?)
Well the beauty of being all-out in love might worth the heart break? Probably?
b. Let's not be stupid and hold love back
 (I tried to find a song asking you to hold back, but most songs asking you to not hold back! Anyone?)
"But then you're going nowhere if you hold back", once Adrian argued. Kinda true. You know, I think you should not hold back, if the person is worth to be not-held-back. Wait, but how do you know if he or she's worth it, as they can change anytime.

 Gosh my mind is going all over the place, trying to think about those two.

But all I can say is:
Try to not over expect. But with love, go on. Go on and do love. Enjoy the now moments. Pray for the future. Involve God does no harm. And whatever happened in the past, could only do you wiser. How hurt it was, I believe there were things to learn from. But it depends on how you want to act on it.

And most of all,
whether you're going 100% in loving, or trying to not expect much, every love has their own stories. That what makes it beautiful.
Jeslina xx

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